Finally talked to Erica today. It was not nearly as fulfilling as it could've been, but it happened. Had a random photoshoot with Nikki, Jeff, Shaneeria, Jessica and Trust. That was cool and fun. Then went to CG and worshiped with them and then headed up to GC. Got to see my boo Mark! Missed my borther and saw Torrey who I haven't seen in a while either which was nice. Jessica jacked my camera and took pics of GC which felt kind of strange for some reason. Normal socializing with GC peoples afterwards. Then the big bomb. Finally told Kaleb how I felt about him. He knew it was coming, picked up on the many signs. He said he tried not to lead me on and was honest with me. I got friend zoned, but I really do appreciate his honesty. As I talked thru my feelings with him I wondered what really made me like him. Of course he has many great features, but they make him a great friend, not necessarily the one. I'm glad that he didn't want to test the relationship just to see what happens or anything. That would've made things so awkward and our friendship would've fell apart. But it as really great to get that off my chest and talk it thru to really analyze it. I feel so relieved. Thank God for boldness and contentment. I'm so glad I'm not one of those people who are defined by other people. Aint nobody got time for that! Talking thru things tho made me think. I feel like for some reason I have a void in my heart. I'm not boy crazy or anything trying to fill it, yet I easily allow things to consume that void. I need to find the root of that and close that void. But I'm really happy that Kaleb was honest with me and that I didn't get what I expected, but got just what I needed.
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